Responce to Alexie sample papers

To me, the best out of the three was sample paper 2.  The introduction included the author and the title of the book.  In addition to a couple of opening lines allowing the intro to flow and the thesis at the end of the paragraph.  Although I feel like the thesis could have been less vauge and more strong as well as avoiding words such as; probably because the author seems unsure rather than having confidence and avoiding doubt.  I also liked how transition words were included to help with coherence in the paper.  For the most part eah body paragraph starts with a topic sentence.  Followed by examples connecting to the point and most importantly thesis.  However, one of the body paragraphs starts off with "Because he.." I wouldnt start with because nor leave the word as he,  but more specific and state that its Junior/or Arnold.  Through out the paper I noticed alot of hes, they, they'res in which again, I would be specific and clear as to who is being adressed.  I did like that this paper didnt ask questions within the paper as the others did... Overall I was able to see the structure of the paper with minor mistakes....